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Welcome to our first installment of Loveawake Personal’s Love Confessions. Below are our 5 favorite confessions from the past. If you’ve got a juicy or funny story you’d like to share, please do. Write it in the comments below. We’ll pick our favorite to post next week. Polished Toenails – Todd, 43 I am a happily married […]

The post Love Confessions appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(2837) "

Welcome to our first installment of Loveawake Personal’s Love Confessions. Below are our 5 favorite confessions from the past. If you’ve got a juicy or funny story you’d like to share, please do. Write it in the comments below. We’ll pick our favorite to post next week.

Polished Toenails – Todd, 43

I am a happily married man with three sons, and into the usual guy-things like sports, cars, and hunting. And, I like to enjoy a relaxing pedicure now and then, complete with polish! I really don’t consider it gay or cross dressing because after I tried it the first time (on a suggestion from the nail tech), my wife really liked it! I wear black, brown, gray, silver, and even blue colors. In my opinion, more men should really try this. There is nothing remotely gay about it; it’s actually quite enjoyable!

Secret Email – Cindy, 36

My boyfriend of eight months has an adult profile on an adult dating site set up. He doesn’t know that I know about it. I have been checking his e-mail and deleted any e-mails from it. Should I feel guilty? I mean, we haven’t had sex in three months now! I say heck no!

Being Girly – Fernando, 59

I am a straight male who loves getting dressed as a women and then going to the mall. I routinely try on dresses at any of the major department stores. Sometimes, I have trouble zipping a dress and have to buzz the sales lady, who gladly comes to zip me up. Sometimes if the size is wrong, she offers to find me the right size and returns it for me to try on.

Nothing Untoward – Emily, 36

I go to a male massage therapist and have told him to forget the modesty sheet. I would never tell my husband this even though nothing untoward happens.

In Love with Another – Sally, 24

I’m married and have been married for three years now. I also have a baby boy with my husband. The thing is that I am still in love with my ex-boyfriend that I dated in high school. He is married now and has a family of his own. I just don’t know when I will completely get over him.

Now It’s YOUR Turn to Confess… Got your own dirty little secret you’re just busting to share? Here’s your chance to spill without getting caught. Go ahead, we know you want to! Just add your story to the comments below. All we ask is that you keep it brief and keep it clean (as possible).

The post Love Confessions appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Welcome to our first installment of Loveawake Personal’s Love Confessions. Below are our 5 favorite confessions from the past. If you’ve got a juicy or funny story you’d like to share, please do. Write it in the comments below. We’ll pick our favorite to post next week. Polished Toenails – Todd, 43 I am a happily married […]

The post Love Confessions appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(2837) "

Welcome to our first installment of Loveawake Personal’s Love Confessions. Below are our 5 favorite confessions from the past. If you’ve got a juicy or funny story you’d like to share, please do. Write it in the comments below. We’ll pick our favorite to post next week.

Polished Toenails – Todd, 43

I am a happily married man with three sons, and into the usual guy-things like sports, cars, and hunting. And, I like to enjoy a relaxing pedicure now and then, complete with polish! I really don’t consider it gay or cross dressing because after I tried it the first time (on a suggestion from the nail tech), my wife really liked it! I wear black, brown, gray, silver, and even blue colors. In my opinion, more men should really try this. There is nothing remotely gay about it; it’s actually quite enjoyable!

Secret Email – Cindy, 36

My boyfriend of eight months has an adult profile on an adult dating site set up. He doesn’t know that I know about it. I have been checking his e-mail and deleted any e-mails from it. Should I feel guilty? I mean, we haven’t had sex in three months now! I say heck no!

Being Girly – Fernando, 59

I am a straight male who loves getting dressed as a women and then going to the mall. I routinely try on dresses at any of the major department stores. Sometimes, I have trouble zipping a dress and have to buzz the sales lady, who gladly comes to zip me up. Sometimes if the size is wrong, she offers to find me the right size and returns it for me to try on.

Nothing Untoward – Emily, 36

I go to a male massage therapist and have told him to forget the modesty sheet. I would never tell my husband this even though nothing untoward happens.

In Love with Another – Sally, 24

I’m married and have been married for three years now. I also have a baby boy with my husband. The thing is that I am still in love with my ex-boyfriend that I dated in high school. He is married now and has a family of his own. I just don’t know when I will completely get over him.

Now It’s YOUR Turn to Confess… Got your own dirty little secret you’re just busting to share? Here’s your chance to spill without getting caught. Go ahead, we know you want to! Just add your story to the comments below. All we ask is that you keep it brief and keep it clean (as possible).

The post Love Confessions appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1541764474) } [1]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(72) "Creating an Online Dating Profile: Don’t Bomb Out Before You Start Out" ["link"]=> string(107) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/08/creating-an-online-dating-profile-dont-bomb-out-before-you-start-out/" ["comments"]=> string(115) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/08/creating-an-online-dating-profile-dont-bomb-out-before-you-start-out/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 08 Nov 2018 15:51:51 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(72) "Dating Adviceadvicedatinghow toonlinedatingprofilerelationshipstipswrite" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1114" ["description"]=> string(628) "

In the Dark Ages, before the Internet, it used to be that if you wanted to meet people to date, you would try the local bar or club. If that didn’t appeal to you, you could try a personals ad in a newspaper. Finding potential mates in a drinking establishment speaks for itself, and may […]

The post Creating an Online Dating Profile: Don’t Bomb Out Before You Start Out appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4076) "

In the Dark Ages, before the Internet, it used to be that if you wanted to meet people to date, you would try the local bar or club. If that didn’t appeal to you, you could try a personals ad in a newspaper. Finding potential mates in a drinking establishment speaks for itself, and may partly account for the increasing divorce rate in the last part of the last century. A personals ad was a different kind of animal. It was a costly proposition, since newspapers liked to charge per letter, and sometimes these ads were tied to a service that had you pay per minute to pick up voicemails. It was the genesis of abbreviations such as “SDF looking for LTR.” Yes, it was that primitive. The cost alone made you sharpen that pencil to turn out an ad that not only reflected the true you in the fewest words possible, but also filter out those you really didn’t want to meet.

We have a proliferation of online dating sites, all with profile pages. Some people think they can be casual with regards to what they put in their dating profiles. Wrong. If you are serious about attracting a mate – or just a date – you should craft these things as carefully as you would a resume for a potential employer. Let’s take a look at some common pitfalls and what you can do to avoid them.

Screen names

Some sites have you set up a screen name. Unlike chat rooms, where you are anonymous for as long as you like, your screen name is associated with your picture. Choosing the wrong name can have unfortunate consequences. Try for neutral rather than clever, since you might not be as clever as you think. Names like HarveyWallBanger, Magic Hands and The Tongue not only fail to impress but also set up the impression that you are looking for just one thing. Maybe you are, but do you want to be that obvious?

Pictures

Again, the theme is to set up the best impression you can. Pictures of you shirtless, in your bathing suit – or worse yet, nearly naked – may not impress people as much as you think. Keep your toys out of the pic as well. Pictures of you next to your car, on your motorcycle or in your boat give the impression that your toy is the most important thing in your life. This is hardly the message you want to send out, is it? Likewise for pics that include other people in your life. Keep your best buddy, your child, your coworkers or someone of the opposite sex out of the picture unless you want to send the message that your potential date is going to be playing second fiddle to other people in your life. And don’t use a picture that obviously clips out a person that shared a picture frame with you. It just makes people wonder if they will receive the same treatment from you. Use something current, not your prom picture from ten years ago. People want to see what you look like now. Last but not least, don’t even think of not putting up a picture. It just makes people wonder what you are trying to hide.

Text

Some sites ask you questions, others leave it up to you. Some are a combination of both. Unless you are clever at turning a phrase, just keep it simple. To avoid are things typical of your gender. Most men have an interest in sports, so reinforcing that only makes a woman wonder if she would end up a sports widow … again. For women, phrases like “hanging out with my peeps” just has a guy wondering if you’d dish about the whole date with a bunch of people he doesn’t know. You will of course, but do you really want him to know that?

That should cover the basics, to keep you from bombing out before you start out, but if I missed something, share it with us. What turns you off in online dating profiles?

 

The post Creating an Online Dating Profile: Don’t Bomb Out Before You Start Out appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(112) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/08/creating-an-online-dating-profile-dont-bomb-out-before-you-start-out/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(628) "

In the Dark Ages, before the Internet, it used to be that if you wanted to meet people to date, you would try the local bar or club. If that didn’t appeal to you, you could try a personals ad in a newspaper. Finding potential mates in a drinking establishment speaks for itself, and may […]

The post Creating an Online Dating Profile: Don’t Bomb Out Before You Start Out appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4076) "

In the Dark Ages, before the Internet, it used to be that if you wanted to meet people to date, you would try the local bar or club. If that didn’t appeal to you, you could try a personals ad in a newspaper. Finding potential mates in a drinking establishment speaks for itself, and may partly account for the increasing divorce rate in the last part of the last century. A personals ad was a different kind of animal. It was a costly proposition, since newspapers liked to charge per letter, and sometimes these ads were tied to a service that had you pay per minute to pick up voicemails. It was the genesis of abbreviations such as “SDF looking for LTR.” Yes, it was that primitive. The cost alone made you sharpen that pencil to turn out an ad that not only reflected the true you in the fewest words possible, but also filter out those you really didn’t want to meet.

We have a proliferation of online dating sites, all with profile pages. Some people think they can be casual with regards to what they put in their dating profiles. Wrong. If you are serious about attracting a mate – or just a date – you should craft these things as carefully as you would a resume for a potential employer. Let’s take a look at some common pitfalls and what you can do to avoid them.

Screen names

Some sites have you set up a screen name. Unlike chat rooms, where you are anonymous for as long as you like, your screen name is associated with your picture. Choosing the wrong name can have unfortunate consequences. Try for neutral rather than clever, since you might not be as clever as you think. Names like HarveyWallBanger, Magic Hands and The Tongue not only fail to impress but also set up the impression that you are looking for just one thing. Maybe you are, but do you want to be that obvious?

Pictures

Again, the theme is to set up the best impression you can. Pictures of you shirtless, in your bathing suit – or worse yet, nearly naked – may not impress people as much as you think. Keep your toys out of the pic as well. Pictures of you next to your car, on your motorcycle or in your boat give the impression that your toy is the most important thing in your life. This is hardly the message you want to send out, is it? Likewise for pics that include other people in your life. Keep your best buddy, your child, your coworkers or someone of the opposite sex out of the picture unless you want to send the message that your potential date is going to be playing second fiddle to other people in your life. And don’t use a picture that obviously clips out a person that shared a picture frame with you. It just makes people wonder if they will receive the same treatment from you. Use something current, not your prom picture from ten years ago. People want to see what you look like now. Last but not least, don’t even think of not putting up a picture. It just makes people wonder what you are trying to hide.

Text

Some sites ask you questions, others leave it up to you. Some are a combination of both. Unless you are clever at turning a phrase, just keep it simple. To avoid are things typical of your gender. Most men have an interest in sports, so reinforcing that only makes a woman wonder if she would end up a sports widow … again. For women, phrases like “hanging out with my peeps” just has a guy wondering if you’d dish about the whole date with a bunch of people he doesn’t know. You will of course, but do you really want him to know that?

That should cover the basics, to keep you from bombing out before you start out, but if I missed something, share it with us. What turns you off in online dating profiles?

 

The post Creating an Online Dating Profile: Don’t Bomb Out Before You Start Out appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1541692311) } [2]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(35) "5 Reasons Not to Date Your Coworker" ["link"]=> string(74) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/08/5-reasons-not-to-date-your-coworker/" ["comments"]=> string(82) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/08/5-reasons-not-to-date-your-coworker/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 08 Nov 2018 10:46:15 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(59) "Dating Issuesco-workerdatingexpertissuesofficerelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1110" ["description"]=> string(609) "

My best friend, Kathleen, works in human resources at a local big-box store. She loves her job, but she calls me almost weekly to vent about the store’s employees and their latest relationship escapades. Kathleen’s grievances got me thinking. Dating a coworker may initially seem like a great idea. You two already have a great […]

The post 5 Reasons Not to Date Your Coworker appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5869) "

My best friend, Kathleen, works in human resources at a local big-box store. She loves her job, but she calls me almost weekly to vent about the store’s employees and their latest relationship escapades. Kathleen’s grievances got me thinking.

Dating a coworker may initially seem like a great idea. You two already have a great connection and lots in common, you get to spend almost all day with that person, and best of all, you get to go home with them at the end of the workday. But, Kathleen warns, when you spend your home life and your work life with that person, there’s a pretty good chance that disaster awaits if you can’t draw the line between the two.

So, while starting something up with that sexy attorney or checkout cutie may be tempting, think long and hard about what could happen if you were to cross the line:

1. Your relationship will be awkward for your coworkers.

Even though you might be trying to keep things on the DL, your relationship will be obvious to everyone around you. People are much more aware than you realize, and who doesn’t love a little office gossip? Word will spread like wildfire (and your reputation could get torched). Not to mention the face that lovers’ quarrels and any form of  PDA (Public Displays of Affection) have no place in a work environment. Plus, you could become so wrapped up in your office romance that you alienate yourself from your peers.

Mary Kate, a marketing director at a dot-com educational company in Silicon Valley, has watched two of her coworkers’ office romances go up in flames, searing reputations in the process. “The amount of gossip flying around was astounding,” she says. “One of the women was way too open about her relationship with the sales guy. She fell really hard for him, and whenever he acted ‘suspiciously’ — which, at least in her mind, began to happen more and more often — she went from desk to desk, asking everyone she knew for advice. It ended up that the guy was hooking up with the PR assistant, too … who eventually got pregnant. The whole thing blew up in their faces. The assistant quit soon afterward, the sales guy ended up marrying her, and the drama queen is still harping to everyone about what a jerk he was. This is a workplace, not a soap opera set. I just don’t want to know this kind of stuff about my coworkers.”

2. Playing favorites will become an issue.

If you’re dating your supervisor — and we could write an article on the many, many reasons you should never date your boss — it will be glaringly obvious to everyone that he or she is paying special attention to you … and maybe even giving you preferential treatment. In the best-case scenario, your coworkers will notice, grow resentful of the special favors being bestowed upon you, and rumors will fly. Sure, that’s only talk, but words can be damaging in more ways than one. Worst-case scenario: lawsuit. You don’t want to go there. Imagine if sales guy in the anecdote above had been a supervisor of the two women — or if either woman had been the supervisor of either or both of the other two, er, players. There’s no limit as to how bad it could get.

3. It could hinder your work performance.

When you first start dating someone, you want to spend every second together. That may make working side by side feel like a dream come true, but the downside is that your focus will be off your work and on your beloved. Even goofing off with your girlfriend or boyfriend while on the clock can keep you from doing your best work. Chances are you’ll be so wrapped up in your infatuation that you’ll be a bad influence on each other. And just imagine what would happen if you had a fight. Do you really want your coworkers to be involved, even silently? We didn’t think so.

Says Mary Kate about the fallout from the doomed relationship in her office, “It’s been going on for two years now, and it’s still causing a distraction. If someone were to translate the loss of productivity into a dollar amount, we’d all be sacked.” There’s no need to give the powers-that-be a reason to let you go, and that’s especially true in this economy.

4. Breaking up will lead to workplace disaster.

When breakups occur (and unless you’re Jim and Pam, they inevitably do) things can really start to get ugly. Fighting with each other in the break room or not speaking to each other at all can make your work environment tense and uncomfortable for everyone. Worst of all, seeing that person every day, and eventually seeing them move on to someone new, can make it impossible for you to get over it. Especially if one party starts a fling with another coworker.

5. You could be setting yourself up for career catastrophe.

Hooking up with the boss, or even a peer, can throw your career off track. When the big bosses at your company find out what you’ve been up to, there’s zero chance that you’ll come out looking good. It’s likely that they’ll skip you over for that next promotion or raise. And remember that it’s a small world and word gets around. Your reputation could be tarnished for years to come. Do you really want to take that chance?

The post 5 Reasons Not to Date Your Coworker appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(79) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/08/5-reasons-not-to-date-your-coworker/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(609) "

My best friend, Kathleen, works in human resources at a local big-box store. She loves her job, but she calls me almost weekly to vent about the store’s employees and their latest relationship escapades. Kathleen’s grievances got me thinking. Dating a coworker may initially seem like a great idea. You two already have a great […]

The post 5 Reasons Not to Date Your Coworker appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5869) "

My best friend, Kathleen, works in human resources at a local big-box store. She loves her job, but she calls me almost weekly to vent about the store’s employees and their latest relationship escapades. Kathleen’s grievances got me thinking.

Dating a coworker may initially seem like a great idea. You two already have a great connection and lots in common, you get to spend almost all day with that person, and best of all, you get to go home with them at the end of the workday. But, Kathleen warns, when you spend your home life and your work life with that person, there’s a pretty good chance that disaster awaits if you can’t draw the line between the two.

So, while starting something up with that sexy attorney or checkout cutie may be tempting, think long and hard about what could happen if you were to cross the line:

1. Your relationship will be awkward for your coworkers.

Even though you might be trying to keep things on the DL, your relationship will be obvious to everyone around you. People are much more aware than you realize, and who doesn’t love a little office gossip? Word will spread like wildfire (and your reputation could get torched). Not to mention the face that lovers’ quarrels and any form of  PDA (Public Displays of Affection) have no place in a work environment. Plus, you could become so wrapped up in your office romance that you alienate yourself from your peers.

Mary Kate, a marketing director at a dot-com educational company in Silicon Valley, has watched two of her coworkers’ office romances go up in flames, searing reputations in the process. “The amount of gossip flying around was astounding,” she says. “One of the women was way too open about her relationship with the sales guy. She fell really hard for him, and whenever he acted ‘suspiciously’ — which, at least in her mind, began to happen more and more often — she went from desk to desk, asking everyone she knew for advice. It ended up that the guy was hooking up with the PR assistant, too … who eventually got pregnant. The whole thing blew up in their faces. The assistant quit soon afterward, the sales guy ended up marrying her, and the drama queen is still harping to everyone about what a jerk he was. This is a workplace, not a soap opera set. I just don’t want to know this kind of stuff about my coworkers.”

2. Playing favorites will become an issue.

If you’re dating your supervisor — and we could write an article on the many, many reasons you should never date your boss — it will be glaringly obvious to everyone that he or she is paying special attention to you … and maybe even giving you preferential treatment. In the best-case scenario, your coworkers will notice, grow resentful of the special favors being bestowed upon you, and rumors will fly. Sure, that’s only talk, but words can be damaging in more ways than one. Worst-case scenario: lawsuit. You don’t want to go there. Imagine if sales guy in the anecdote above had been a supervisor of the two women — or if either woman had been the supervisor of either or both of the other two, er, players. There’s no limit as to how bad it could get.

3. It could hinder your work performance.

When you first start dating someone, you want to spend every second together. That may make working side by side feel like a dream come true, but the downside is that your focus will be off your work and on your beloved. Even goofing off with your girlfriend or boyfriend while on the clock can keep you from doing your best work. Chances are you’ll be so wrapped up in your infatuation that you’ll be a bad influence on each other. And just imagine what would happen if you had a fight. Do you really want your coworkers to be involved, even silently? We didn’t think so.

Says Mary Kate about the fallout from the doomed relationship in her office, “It’s been going on for two years now, and it’s still causing a distraction. If someone were to translate the loss of productivity into a dollar amount, we’d all be sacked.” There’s no need to give the powers-that-be a reason to let you go, and that’s especially true in this economy.

4. Breaking up will lead to workplace disaster.

When breakups occur (and unless you’re Jim and Pam, they inevitably do) things can really start to get ugly. Fighting with each other in the break room or not speaking to each other at all can make your work environment tense and uncomfortable for everyone. Worst of all, seeing that person every day, and eventually seeing them move on to someone new, can make it impossible for you to get over it. Especially if one party starts a fling with another coworker.

5. You could be setting yourself up for career catastrophe.

Hooking up with the boss, or even a peer, can throw your career off track. When the big bosses at your company find out what you’ve been up to, there’s zero chance that you’ll come out looking good. It’s likely that they’ll skip you over for that next promotion or raise. And remember that it’s a small world and word gets around. Your reputation could be tarnished for years to come. Do you really want to take that chance?

The post 5 Reasons Not to Date Your Coworker appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1541673975) } [3]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(45) "The 7 Strangest Tips from the Real Kama Sutra" ["link"]=> string(84) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/06/the-7-strangest-tips-from-the-real-kama-sutra/" ["comments"]=> string(92) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/06/the-7-strangest-tips-from-the-real-kama-sutra/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 06 Nov 2018 17:05:36 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(32) "Love & Sexinterestinglifelovesex" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1107" ["description"]=> string(591) "

Sex is a science. Just ask Vatsyayana, the man who wrote the world’s greatest technical sex manual. Well, you actually can’t ask him, since he died 1,700 years ago. But you can pick up the original Kama Sutra and discover that love in the 3rd century CE was a lot like love today. Yes, some parts […]

The post The 7 Strangest Tips from the Real Kama Sutra appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4368) "

Sex is a science. Just ask Vatsyayana, the man who wrote the world’s greatest technical sex manual.

Well, you actually can’t ask him, since he died 1,700 years ago. But you can pick up the original Kama Sutra and discover that love in the 3rd century CE was a lot like love today.

Yes, some parts of it are outdated. Really outdated. But on the whole, the Kama Sutra was ahead of its time, providing a surprisingly modern glimpse of love and relationships. The original text showed that love was more than just mechanics.

Below are some pointers from Vatsyayana himself.

1.) Know Your Weak Points

Ever wonder about the character flaws that destroy relationships? Here are a few:

2.) Men, Ask Questions

A man should “ask her questions about things of which he knows or pretends to know nothing, and which can be answered in a few words.”

Though a man loves a girl ever so much, he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal of talking.”

3.) Women, Be Skilled in the 64 Arts

Here are four:

4.) Learn from the Greats

The Kamasutra includes a partial list of which men have success with women. Notice how they haven’t changed since 300 CE.

5.) Go Slowly.

…the man should begin to win her over, and to create confidence in her, but should abstain at first from sexual pleasures.”

 Women, being of a tender nature, want tender beginnings, and when they are forcibly approached by men with whom they are but slightly acquainted, they sometimes suddenly become haters of sexual connection, and sometimes even haters of the male sex.”

6.) Know Whom to Marry

Vatsyayana tells men what kind of woman they should avoid.

Word of caution: please marry someone who has fully arrived at puberty.

7.) Know how to finish the job.

As she lies in his lap, looking at the moon, he points out the rows of constellations to her; they look at the Pleiades, the Pole Star, and the garland of Seven Sages that form the Great Beat. That is the end of sex.”

***

While modern Western culture has republished the Kama Sutra as porn with a fancy title, the original version had a much more profound goal. In addition to providing a technical guide to sex, the Kama Sutra was a treatise on how to live a life, and how to value love as a partnership. Its popularity and endurance today is a testament to the constancy of human relationships.

The post The 7 Strangest Tips from the Real Kama Sutra appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Sex is a science. Just ask Vatsyayana, the man who wrote the world’s greatest technical sex manual. Well, you actually can’t ask him, since he died 1,700 years ago. But you can pick up the original Kama Sutra and discover that love in the 3rd century CE was a lot like love today. Yes, some parts […]

The post The 7 Strangest Tips from the Real Kama Sutra appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4368) "

Sex is a science. Just ask Vatsyayana, the man who wrote the world’s greatest technical sex manual.

Well, you actually can’t ask him, since he died 1,700 years ago. But you can pick up the original Kama Sutra and discover that love in the 3rd century CE was a lot like love today.

Yes, some parts of it are outdated. Really outdated. But on the whole, the Kama Sutra was ahead of its time, providing a surprisingly modern glimpse of love and relationships. The original text showed that love was more than just mechanics.

Below are some pointers from Vatsyayana himself.

1.) Know Your Weak Points

Ever wonder about the character flaws that destroy relationships? Here are a few:

2.) Men, Ask Questions

A man should “ask her questions about things of which he knows or pretends to know nothing, and which can be answered in a few words.”

Though a man loves a girl ever so much, he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal of talking.”

3.) Women, Be Skilled in the 64 Arts

Here are four:

4.) Learn from the Greats

The Kamasutra includes a partial list of which men have success with women. Notice how they haven’t changed since 300 CE.

5.) Go Slowly.

…the man should begin to win her over, and to create confidence in her, but should abstain at first from sexual pleasures.”

 Women, being of a tender nature, want tender beginnings, and when they are forcibly approached by men with whom they are but slightly acquainted, they sometimes suddenly become haters of sexual connection, and sometimes even haters of the male sex.”

6.) Know Whom to Marry

Vatsyayana tells men what kind of woman they should avoid.

Word of caution: please marry someone who has fully arrived at puberty.

7.) Know how to finish the job.

As she lies in his lap, looking at the moon, he points out the rows of constellations to her; they look at the Pleiades, the Pole Star, and the garland of Seven Sages that form the Great Beat. That is the end of sex.”

***

While modern Western culture has republished the Kama Sutra as porn with a fancy title, the original version had a much more profound goal. In addition to providing a technical guide to sex, the Kama Sutra was a treatise on how to live a life, and how to value love as a partnership. Its popularity and endurance today is a testament to the constancy of human relationships.

The post The 7 Strangest Tips from the Real Kama Sutra appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1541523936) } [4]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(24) "Sailing the Seas of Love" ["link"]=> string(63) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/06/sailing-the-seas-of-love/" ["comments"]=> string(71) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/06/sailing-the-seas-of-love/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 06 Nov 2018 16:49:22 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(60) "Dating AdviceFriends And Familyexpertfamilyloverelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1104" ["description"]=> string(573) "

“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” ~ African Proverb There is a term sailors use when their sailboat heads into the wind, or the no sail zone. ‘Caught in the irons’. This refers to an incapacitated boat that has no wind to push the boat’s sailes in the direction the sailor wants to go. […]

The post Sailing the Seas of Love appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4462) "

“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.”
~ African Proverb

There is a term sailors use when their sailboat heads into the wind, or the no sail zone. ‘Caught in the irons’. This refers to an incapacitated boat that has no wind to push the boat’s sailes in the direction the sailor wants to go.

My husband and I were ‘stuck in the irons’. I had just finished a demanding graduate program that consumed my time and energy. He was (and is) ‘paying his dues’ in his profession. We were lucky if we saw each other more than once during our waking hours on the weekdays.

During a quiet Friday night dinner we looked across the table at each other and decided that we needed to reconnect. We missed each other. We needed to start dating again. Between our academic and professional pursuits, we were scheduled within an inch of our lives. But somehow, we neglected to schedule appointments with each other. We were still very committed to each other, but our relationship has become and afterthought.

We decided to make a weekly date in the form of Saturday morning sailing lessons at the local community center.

Commitment

Scheduling dates really made a difference. We were able to commit to a 5 week course. During that first meeting, we learned that we would be competing with the other sailors in the class during a sailing race. Missing a class was not an option. Making the class dates a priority helped us maintain our commitment to each other, and we found ourselves looking forward to and becoming focused on the same goal: to learn to sail and leave our classmates in our wake. (Our competitive and over-achieving natures are not for nothing, after all.) We really got into the competition of the sport.

Teamwork

There we were, alone, in a tiny Lido 14 sailing vessel. At first, it was clear that we needed some refinement with our communication skills. We were a crew and needed to rely on each other. When the wind caught our sails too quickly, we had to learn to communicate efficiently and clearly in order to avoid turtleing (tipping over).

There were plenty of times we got stuck in the irons. We shifted our weight to try and inch the boat this way and that… working together, we always managed to get back on track with the wind behind our sails. We developed a sailing shorthand out of necessity.

Learning a new activity

Learning together allowed us to learn new things about each other too. Before we started the course, my husband indicated that he wanted to just sit back and relax on the bay, while I worked the tiller and lines. Since it was my wacky idea to get us out on the water, I obliged. As soon as we hit the boat, my husband came alive and relished his role as crewmember. He was no longer content to sit back and relax. He wanted in on the action. The excitement lasted all week and we couldn’t wait till our next date. We even found ourselves making mid-week study dates to quiz each other on our sailing knowledge.

Physical activity

Endorphins! It is widely know that physical activity and exercise help to release those wonderful feel good chemicals called endorphins. Sailing certainly helped us carry those endorphins through the weekend. And, we found ourselves happier and less stressed during the week. Not only did we have something to look forward to do together, we were engaging in a healthy date that benefitted our health and our relationship.

By the last day of class, we were ready to face our racing goal together. We didn’t come in first, nor did we come in last; but the experience tested everything we had been building on during the previous weeks. The rush of racing with the wind down the harbor together was more fulfilling than actually winning the race. We were no longer “stuck in the irons.”

What began as a wacky idea to spend time together turned into a shared passion that we will continue on with. I already have it scheduled.

 

The post Sailing the Seas of Love appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(68) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/06/sailing-the-seas-of-love/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(573) "

“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” ~ African Proverb There is a term sailors use when their sailboat heads into the wind, or the no sail zone. ‘Caught in the irons’. This refers to an incapacitated boat that has no wind to push the boat’s sailes in the direction the sailor wants to go. […]

The post Sailing the Seas of Love appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4462) "

“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.”
~ African Proverb

There is a term sailors use when their sailboat heads into the wind, or the no sail zone. ‘Caught in the irons’. This refers to an incapacitated boat that has no wind to push the boat’s sailes in the direction the sailor wants to go.

My husband and I were ‘stuck in the irons’. I had just finished a demanding graduate program that consumed my time and energy. He was (and is) ‘paying his dues’ in his profession. We were lucky if we saw each other more than once during our waking hours on the weekdays.

During a quiet Friday night dinner we looked across the table at each other and decided that we needed to reconnect. We missed each other. We needed to start dating again. Between our academic and professional pursuits, we were scheduled within an inch of our lives. But somehow, we neglected to schedule appointments with each other. We were still very committed to each other, but our relationship has become and afterthought.

We decided to make a weekly date in the form of Saturday morning sailing lessons at the local community center.

Commitment

Scheduling dates really made a difference. We were able to commit to a 5 week course. During that first meeting, we learned that we would be competing with the other sailors in the class during a sailing race. Missing a class was not an option. Making the class dates a priority helped us maintain our commitment to each other, and we found ourselves looking forward to and becoming focused on the same goal: to learn to sail and leave our classmates in our wake. (Our competitive and over-achieving natures are not for nothing, after all.) We really got into the competition of the sport.

Teamwork

There we were, alone, in a tiny Lido 14 sailing vessel. At first, it was clear that we needed some refinement with our communication skills. We were a crew and needed to rely on each other. When the wind caught our sails too quickly, we had to learn to communicate efficiently and clearly in order to avoid turtleing (tipping over).

There were plenty of times we got stuck in the irons. We shifted our weight to try and inch the boat this way and that… working together, we always managed to get back on track with the wind behind our sails. We developed a sailing shorthand out of necessity.

Learning a new activity

Learning together allowed us to learn new things about each other too. Before we started the course, my husband indicated that he wanted to just sit back and relax on the bay, while I worked the tiller and lines. Since it was my wacky idea to get us out on the water, I obliged. As soon as we hit the boat, my husband came alive and relished his role as crewmember. He was no longer content to sit back and relax. He wanted in on the action. The excitement lasted all week and we couldn’t wait till our next date. We even found ourselves making mid-week study dates to quiz each other on our sailing knowledge.

Physical activity

Endorphins! It is widely know that physical activity and exercise help to release those wonderful feel good chemicals called endorphins. Sailing certainly helped us carry those endorphins through the weekend. And, we found ourselves happier and less stressed during the week. Not only did we have something to look forward to do together, we were engaging in a healthy date that benefitted our health and our relationship.

By the last day of class, we were ready to face our racing goal together. We didn’t come in first, nor did we come in last; but the experience tested everything we had been building on during the previous weeks. The rush of racing with the wind down the harbor together was more fulfilling than actually winning the race. We were no longer “stuck in the irons.”

What began as a wacky idea to spend time together turned into a shared passion that we will continue on with. I already have it scheduled.

 

The post Sailing the Seas of Love appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1541522962) } [5]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(39) "How to Interpret Online Dating Profiles" ["link"]=> string(78) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/05/how-to-interpret-online-dating-profiles/" ["comments"]=> string(86) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/05/how-to-interpret-online-dating-profiles/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 05 Nov 2018 16:48:38 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(50) "Dating Adviceadvicedatingexpertonlinedatingprofile" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1099" ["description"]=> string(651) "

Ever wondered whether there was a hidden “language” in the online dating world that you’re just not clued in to? Well, of course there is! It’s called dating profile “speak,” or the subtext in commonly used words and phrases. These hidden meanings are what really count when you’re trying to decipher a person’s online dating […]

The post How to Interpret Online Dating Profiles appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4592) "

Ever wondered whether there was a hidden “language” in the online dating world that you’re just not clued in to?

Well, of course there is! It’s called dating profile “speak,” or the subtext in commonly used words and phrases. These hidden meanings are what really count when you’re trying to decipher a person’s online dating profile.

What do they really mean when they say things like “no drama” or “financially independent”? This special language needs a dictionary all its own. Read on, before you read another online dating profile!

The Online-Dating Profile Dictionary

MALE LANGUAGE

I am:

Easy-going: I’m about as emotionally deep as a CD — the no-hassles, easy-listening kind!
(Often accompanies:)

Laid-back: Yeah, so laid back that I hardly ever bother to get off the couch! (Hey, hon ,,, while you’re up, wouldja mind grabbing me a beer?)

Confident: Also known as “cocky.”

I’m looking for:

No drama: I expect to remain the same selfish, shallow, inconsiderate jerk-wad I’ve always been — without a whiff of complaint from you.

Open-minded: When I take you to a swinger’s club or suggest a three-way, you should be all for it.

Slim/slender:
 Looks are very important to me, and since I actually came right out and said it, you’d better believe that I want a model-thin beauty. (So, don’t be more than about 5 pounds overweight — or I’m gonna put you on the “Heifer Train” and send you right back where you came from!)

Curvy/curvaceous: Uh, nothing less than a “D” cup need reply!

FEMALE LANGUAGE

I am:

Sexy: And these $5,000 boobs prove it!
(Often accompanies:)

Fun-loving: Sure I am. But we’d better be doing what I consider fun, or I’m not so fun-loving! (What’s that you say? You want to go to a NASCAR race? Take that stick shift and shove it!)

Down-to-earth: Yes, I’m wearing a short skirt, tight top and spiked heels to attract you — but frankly, I’d rather be wearing my comfy sweats, tee and flip-flops! (I’m dreaming of that now, as a matter of fact, because my feet are killing me.)

I’m looking for:

Masculine: You’d better be tall, well-built — and well-hung! Oh, and a deep voice and manly muscles are also a must!

Sensitive: I miss my sister/mother/best friend whom I tell all my girlie secrets to. But you’ll do …

Old-fashioned/chivalrous: It’s imperative that you always open doors and pull out chairs for me, often buy me roses and jewelry, and tell me every chance you get how wonderful I am!

No games: Don’t treat me like all the other bimbos you’ve dated, buster. (Put me first — always!)

UNISEX LANGUAGE

I am:

Simple: Read: BORING!

Successful: I live my life for work and don’t have many friends or much of a personal life.

A catch: Run the other way, as fast as you can!

I’m looking for:

No baggage: I don’t want to hear about your past problems, marriages, indiscretions, etc. — because I want to be the one to do all the unloading!

Sense of humor: The onus is on you to entertain me!

Financially independent:
 You must have money, and lots of it! I’m looking for a Sugar Daddy (or Momma) who’s gonna be able to take me to the nicest places, buy me expensive things, let me buy expensive things, and pay the bills without flinching.

So, readers, what other words or phrases should be added to our Online-Dating Profile Dictionary?

The post How to Interpret Online Dating Profiles appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(83) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/05/how-to-interpret-online-dating-profiles/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(651) "

Ever wondered whether there was a hidden “language” in the online dating world that you’re just not clued in to? Well, of course there is! It’s called dating profile “speak,” or the subtext in commonly used words and phrases. These hidden meanings are what really count when you’re trying to decipher a person’s online dating […]

The post How to Interpret Online Dating Profiles appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4592) "

Ever wondered whether there was a hidden “language” in the online dating world that you’re just not clued in to?

Well, of course there is! It’s called dating profile “speak,” or the subtext in commonly used words and phrases. These hidden meanings are what really count when you’re trying to decipher a person’s online dating profile.

What do they really mean when they say things like “no drama” or “financially independent”? This special language needs a dictionary all its own. Read on, before you read another online dating profile!

The Online-Dating Profile Dictionary

MALE LANGUAGE

I am:

Easy-going: I’m about as emotionally deep as a CD — the no-hassles, easy-listening kind!
(Often accompanies:)

Laid-back: Yeah, so laid back that I hardly ever bother to get off the couch! (Hey, hon ,,, while you’re up, wouldja mind grabbing me a beer?)

Confident: Also known as “cocky.”

I’m looking for:

No drama: I expect to remain the same selfish, shallow, inconsiderate jerk-wad I’ve always been — without a whiff of complaint from you.

Open-minded: When I take you to a swinger’s club or suggest a three-way, you should be all for it.

Slim/slender:
 Looks are very important to me, and since I actually came right out and said it, you’d better believe that I want a model-thin beauty. (So, don’t be more than about 5 pounds overweight — or I’m gonna put you on the “Heifer Train” and send you right back where you came from!)

Curvy/curvaceous: Uh, nothing less than a “D” cup need reply!

FEMALE LANGUAGE

I am:

Sexy: And these $5,000 boobs prove it!
(Often accompanies:)

Fun-loving: Sure I am. But we’d better be doing what I consider fun, or I’m not so fun-loving! (What’s that you say? You want to go to a NASCAR race? Take that stick shift and shove it!)

Down-to-earth: Yes, I’m wearing a short skirt, tight top and spiked heels to attract you — but frankly, I’d rather be wearing my comfy sweats, tee and flip-flops! (I’m dreaming of that now, as a matter of fact, because my feet are killing me.)

I’m looking for:

Masculine: You’d better be tall, well-built — and well-hung! Oh, and a deep voice and manly muscles are also a must!

Sensitive: I miss my sister/mother/best friend whom I tell all my girlie secrets to. But you’ll do …

Old-fashioned/chivalrous: It’s imperative that you always open doors and pull out chairs for me, often buy me roses and jewelry, and tell me every chance you get how wonderful I am!

No games: Don’t treat me like all the other bimbos you’ve dated, buster. (Put me first — always!)

UNISEX LANGUAGE

I am:

Simple: Read: BORING!

Successful: I live my life for work and don’t have many friends or much of a personal life.

A catch: Run the other way, as fast as you can!

I’m looking for:

No baggage: I don’t want to hear about your past problems, marriages, indiscretions, etc. — because I want to be the one to do all the unloading!

Sense of humor: The onus is on you to entertain me!

Financially independent:
 You must have money, and lots of it! I’m looking for a Sugar Daddy (or Momma) who’s gonna be able to take me to the nicest places, buy me expensive things, let me buy expensive things, and pay the bills without flinching.

So, readers, what other words or phrases should be added to our Online-Dating Profile Dictionary?

The post How to Interpret Online Dating Profiles appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1541436518) } [6]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(58) "Relationship Compatibility – 5 Signs You’re Compatible" ["link"]=> string(65) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/05/relationship-compatibility/" ["comments"]=> string(73) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/05/relationship-compatibility/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 05 Nov 2018 15:31:28 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(61) "Dating IssuesadviceCompatibilityCompatibledatingrelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1096" ["description"]=> string(634) "

On paper and in the stars, my relationship with Chaz was perfectly compatible. I am a Sagittarius, he an Aries. We both loved French literature, eating sushi and reciting lines from Mel Brooks movies. We even looked alike — tall, thin, brunettes. When we started our relationship, our friends practically bought us wedding presents. But […]

The post Relationship Compatibility – 5 Signs You’re Compatible appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3927) "

On paper and in the stars, my relationship with Chaz was perfectly compatible. I am a Sagittarius, he an Aries. We both loved French literature, eating sushi and reciting lines from Mel Brooks movies. We even looked alike — tall, thin, brunettes. When we started our relationship, our friends practically bought us wedding presents. But our relationship was not compatible and we broke up in less than three months. The truth was, when it came to our relationship, we were not compatible where it counted.

Contrary to what most people think, relationship compatibility is not calculated by whether you both agree that Godfather II is better than The Godfather I or your star signs are perfectly aligned. Relationship compatibility is all about how you make your relationship work together. Here are five areas of relationship compatibility that can help you determine if your relationship is here to last:

Relationship Compatibility Test 1: A pronoun never lies

A recent study done by researchers at UC Berkeley found that couples who used “we” during arguments were more likely to resolve conflict and reported being more satisfied in their relationships. In contrast, couples who used separate pronouns had a harder time ending fights and resolving issues. Listen to how you talk to one another and what you say. Your pronouns will tell you if you are compatible.

Relationship Compatibility Test 2: Personality

It’s easy to assume that you will be most compatible with the person you share the most in common with, but that is not always true. A study done by the University of Iowa in 2015 found that similarity in personality was more important than similarities in values and religion when forming a happy partnership.

Relationship Compatibility Test 3: The big picture

You may not agree on how to get there, but in order to be compatible you need to agree on where you are going. Is your relationship moving toward marriage and kids? Do you both want to pursue your careers and then retire to travel? In order to be truly compatible you have to agree on your goals for your lives and your relationships.

Relationship Compatibility Test 4: Communication

A great indicator of relationship compatibility is communication. How do you talk to one another? Are you open and honest? Or do you hide feelings and emotions from one another? Without communication it’s hard to be compatible.

Relationship Compatibility Test 5: Money matters

It may not seem romantic, but money is the No. 1 reason couples fight, and it is often a huge factor in determining relationship compatibility. So, before you decide that someone is your soul mate size them up financially. Do you disagree with how they spend or save money? Do you both agree on how money should be shared or not shared? It may sound shallow when you are in the throes of love, but money matters when it comes to compatibility.

After Chaz, I realized compatibility was more than just agreeing on movies. And when a guy I would have never considered before (tall, blond, good at sports, basically everything I am not) asked me out, I said yes. As we got to know one another, we learned how compatible we really were and it was a relationship compatibility that counted. Four years after we started dating, we got married.

The post Relationship Compatibility – 5 Signs You’re Compatible appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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On paper and in the stars, my relationship with Chaz was perfectly compatible. I am a Sagittarius, he an Aries. We both loved French literature, eating sushi and reciting lines from Mel Brooks movies. We even looked alike — tall, thin, brunettes. When we started our relationship, our friends practically bought us wedding presents. But […]

The post Relationship Compatibility – 5 Signs You’re Compatible appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3927) "

On paper and in the stars, my relationship with Chaz was perfectly compatible. I am a Sagittarius, he an Aries. We both loved French literature, eating sushi and reciting lines from Mel Brooks movies. We even looked alike — tall, thin, brunettes. When we started our relationship, our friends practically bought us wedding presents. But our relationship was not compatible and we broke up in less than three months. The truth was, when it came to our relationship, we were not compatible where it counted.

Contrary to what most people think, relationship compatibility is not calculated by whether you both agree that Godfather II is better than The Godfather I or your star signs are perfectly aligned. Relationship compatibility is all about how you make your relationship work together. Here are five areas of relationship compatibility that can help you determine if your relationship is here to last:

Relationship Compatibility Test 1: A pronoun never lies

A recent study done by researchers at UC Berkeley found that couples who used “we” during arguments were more likely to resolve conflict and reported being more satisfied in their relationships. In contrast, couples who used separate pronouns had a harder time ending fights and resolving issues. Listen to how you talk to one another and what you say. Your pronouns will tell you if you are compatible.

Relationship Compatibility Test 2: Personality

It’s easy to assume that you will be most compatible with the person you share the most in common with, but that is not always true. A study done by the University of Iowa in 2015 found that similarity in personality was more important than similarities in values and religion when forming a happy partnership.

Relationship Compatibility Test 3: The big picture

You may not agree on how to get there, but in order to be compatible you need to agree on where you are going. Is your relationship moving toward marriage and kids? Do you both want to pursue your careers and then retire to travel? In order to be truly compatible you have to agree on your goals for your lives and your relationships.

Relationship Compatibility Test 4: Communication

A great indicator of relationship compatibility is communication. How do you talk to one another? Are you open and honest? Or do you hide feelings and emotions from one another? Without communication it’s hard to be compatible.

Relationship Compatibility Test 5: Money matters

It may not seem romantic, but money is the No. 1 reason couples fight, and it is often a huge factor in determining relationship compatibility. So, before you decide that someone is your soul mate size them up financially. Do you disagree with how they spend or save money? Do you both agree on how money should be shared or not shared? It may sound shallow when you are in the throes of love, but money matters when it comes to compatibility.

After Chaz, I realized compatibility was more than just agreeing on movies. And when a guy I would have never considered before (tall, blond, good at sports, basically everything I am not) asked me out, I said yes. As we got to know one another, we learned how compatible we really were and it was a relationship compatibility that counted. Four years after we started dating, we got married.

The post Relationship Compatibility – 5 Signs You’re Compatible appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1541431888) } [7]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(31) "How to Kill a Man’s Sex Drive" ["link"]=> string(67) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/02/how-to-kill-a-mans-sex-drive/" ["comments"]=> string(75) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/02/how-to-kill-a-mans-sex-drive/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 02 Nov 2018 14:45:47 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(13) "Dating Advice" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1092" ["description"]=> string(580) "

Ladies: has a man ever told you he hates it when you cry? You might think it’s because he dislikes seeing you in pain. And that might be true. But that’s not the whole story. A team of neuroscientists in Israel recently found that female tears actually reduce a man’s sex drive. The research finds that tears may […]

The post How to Kill a Man’s Sex Drive appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4635) "

Ladies: has a man ever told you he hates it when you cry? You might think it’s because he dislikes seeing you in pain. And that might be true. But that’s not the whole story.

A team of neuroscientists in Israel recently found that female tears actually reduce a man’s sex drive.

The research finds that tears may contain pheromones—chemicals that influence our behavior because of their smell. Normal tears (from allergies, dust, or onions) will not affect a man’s level of attraction; it is only emotional tears that turn men off.

Take a look at the science.

The Study

1.) First, a group of women watched classic Hollywood tear-jerkers, such as When A Man Loves A Woman. They cried. A lot.

2.) Next, researchers collected their tears in jars.

3.) Finally, a group of men sat down and rated both the level of sadness and the level of attractiveness of a series of female faces. The men had a pad right above their upper lip which contained either the woman’s tears, or a simple saline solution. Both pads were odorless.

Chemical Communication

The results of the experiment were decisive: a woman’s tears reduced a man’s sexual attraction to her.

1.) 17 out of 24 participants (all men in their late 20s) thought that the female faces were less sexually alluring after sniffing the pad drenched with female tears.

2.) Most men who had been exposed to the women’s tears demonstrated telltale signs of reduced sexual arousal: their breathing rate decreased, as did their testosterone levels.

What about the reverse situation? Do women find men’s tears sexually off-putting? That was a question left unanswered by this study—the research team apparently could not find enough men who would cry during a sad film.

What’s Going On?

What is the scientific reason why tears might decrease a woman’s sexual appeal? Below are some recent theories.

1.) If a man is less attracted to a crying woman, he will be more able to focus on comforting her instead—which, after all, is what she might need at the moment. Tears contain prolactin, a hormone that is related to exhibiting nurturing behavior. When women cry, they are therefore subconsciously triggering the caring response they want from their partner.

2.) Tears may actually indicate the best and worst time for sex—from a purely biological standpoint. Dr. Noam Sobel, one of the architects of the study, states: “Women cry much more during menstruation, which indeed from an evolutionary standpoint is not a beneficial time for sexual interaction.”

Moral of the Story

So, if tears are unattractive to men, what’s the take-away? Try to avoid crying? Bottle up your emotions and join the cast of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly?

No. Humans developed tears for a reason—to indicate emotional distress. As far as anyone knows, we are the only species that exhibit tears of sadness. Tears inspire people to show each other comfort and tenderness. Without those qualities, the basis of human society – and all romantic relationships—would be on unstable ground.

Furthermore, sexual attraction will always have its ups and down in any relationship, whether you cry or not. If a man ditches you because you’re crying—or going through a tough time—he’s probably not worth crying over. Find the man who will love you in spite of your tears.

All of that said, don’t take this advice too far in the opposite direction. Manipulating someone through tears is never a good idea. We all know a fake crier when we see one.

 

The post How to Kill a Man’s Sex Drive appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Ladies: has a man ever told you he hates it when you cry? You might think it’s because he dislikes seeing you in pain. And that might be true. But that’s not the whole story. A team of neuroscientists in Israel recently found that female tears actually reduce a man’s sex drive. The research finds that tears may […]

The post How to Kill a Man’s Sex Drive appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4635) "

Ladies: has a man ever told you he hates it when you cry? You might think it’s because he dislikes seeing you in pain. And that might be true. But that’s not the whole story.

A team of neuroscientists in Israel recently found that female tears actually reduce a man’s sex drive.

The research finds that tears may contain pheromones—chemicals that influence our behavior because of their smell. Normal tears (from allergies, dust, or onions) will not affect a man’s level of attraction; it is only emotional tears that turn men off.

Take a look at the science.

The Study

1.) First, a group of women watched classic Hollywood tear-jerkers, such as When A Man Loves A Woman. They cried. A lot.

2.) Next, researchers collected their tears in jars.

3.) Finally, a group of men sat down and rated both the level of sadness and the level of attractiveness of a series of female faces. The men had a pad right above their upper lip which contained either the woman’s tears, or a simple saline solution. Both pads were odorless.

Chemical Communication

The results of the experiment were decisive: a woman’s tears reduced a man’s sexual attraction to her.

1.) 17 out of 24 participants (all men in their late 20s) thought that the female faces were less sexually alluring after sniffing the pad drenched with female tears.

2.) Most men who had been exposed to the women’s tears demonstrated telltale signs of reduced sexual arousal: their breathing rate decreased, as did their testosterone levels.

What about the reverse situation? Do women find men’s tears sexually off-putting? That was a question left unanswered by this study—the research team apparently could not find enough men who would cry during a sad film.

What’s Going On?

What is the scientific reason why tears might decrease a woman’s sexual appeal? Below are some recent theories.

1.) If a man is less attracted to a crying woman, he will be more able to focus on comforting her instead—which, after all, is what she might need at the moment. Tears contain prolactin, a hormone that is related to exhibiting nurturing behavior. When women cry, they are therefore subconsciously triggering the caring response they want from their partner.

2.) Tears may actually indicate the best and worst time for sex—from a purely biological standpoint. Dr. Noam Sobel, one of the architects of the study, states: “Women cry much more during menstruation, which indeed from an evolutionary standpoint is not a beneficial time for sexual interaction.”

Moral of the Story

So, if tears are unattractive to men, what’s the take-away? Try to avoid crying? Bottle up your emotions and join the cast of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly?

No. Humans developed tears for a reason—to indicate emotional distress. As far as anyone knows, we are the only species that exhibit tears of sadness. Tears inspire people to show each other comfort and tenderness. Without those qualities, the basis of human society – and all romantic relationships—would be on unstable ground.

Furthermore, sexual attraction will always have its ups and down in any relationship, whether you cry or not. If a man ditches you because you’re crying—or going through a tough time—he’s probably not worth crying over. Find the man who will love you in spite of your tears.

All of that said, don’t take this advice too far in the opposite direction. Manipulating someone through tears is never a good idea. We all know a fake crier when we see one.

 

The post How to Kill a Man’s Sex Drive appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1541169947) } [8]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(39) "Things You Should Just Keep To Yourself" ["link"]=> string(78) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/01/things-you-should-just-keep-to-yourself/" ["comments"]=> string(86) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/11/01/things-you-should-just-keep-to-yourself/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 01 Nov 2018 15:21:14 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(74) "Dating AdviceDating Issuesadvicedatingexperthumourinterestingrelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1088" ["description"]=> string(621) "

One question that we Loveawake contend with often is this concept of need-to-know information. For those wondering, it’s the type of information that you are required to tell your significant other. I see you looking to me for an example. Which is great, because I have one. An example of need-to-know information would be, “honey, […]

The post Things You Should Just Keep To Yourself appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(2844) "

One question that we Loveawake contend with often is this concept of need-to-know information. For those wondering, it’s the type of information that you are required to tell your significant other. I see you looking to me for an example. Which is great, because I have one.

An example of need-to-know information would be, “honey, I slept with 3 midgets and 2 guys who I’m pretty sure are from Siberia last night. But it will never happen again. I swear.”

That’s the type of stuff you should be required to give up.

However, there’s alwas a gray area. And because I’m such a nice and benevolent guy, and like to used redundant, reciprocal words in sentences, here’s a list of things that aren’t need to know:

1) Some guy asked you out

Unless you said yes and set a time and date, this isn’t really something worth bringing up over dinner with the boyfriend. We’re dating you and we think you’re hot. We expect you to get hit on. There’s a certain level of willful ignorance that we subscribe to in order to not become jealous overlords.

2) You met some guys with your girls and partied with them (no sex)

All of us have gone out and gotten into some situations that we didn’t expect to transpire. It’s the law of going out. Unless you want me to grill you about every last detail about what you did with these new guy friends of yours, just pretend that you and Becky went out for drinks and then came home and went to sleep.

3) You accidentally killed somebody

Two words: Plausible deniability

4) You kissed a girl (and you liked it)

Unless you intend to do it again and keep it up, just chalk that up as a life experience, come home and have sexxy time with me

5) You kidnapped Mike Tyson’s tiger

Honestly, it’s not that I don’t want to know what you did. It’s more so that I don’t want to die with you. I’m not Romeo and you are not Juliet. I have a job. Just return the damned thing and allow us to go on about our lives. Because see, if you tell me you kidnapped Mike Tyson’s tiger, then that makes me as responsible for its safe return as you, and I probably don’t like you that much. Mmkay, pumpkin?

Anyway, those are some things that you should keep to yourself. What are some others??

The post Things You Should Just Keep To Yourself appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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One question that we Loveawake contend with often is this concept of need-to-know information. For those wondering, it’s the type of information that you are required to tell your significant other. I see you looking to me for an example. Which is great, because I have one. An example of need-to-know information would be, “honey, […]

The post Things You Should Just Keep To Yourself appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(2844) "

One question that we Loveawake contend with often is this concept of need-to-know information. For those wondering, it’s the type of information that you are required to tell your significant other. I see you looking to me for an example. Which is great, because I have one.

An example of need-to-know information would be, “honey, I slept with 3 midgets and 2 guys who I’m pretty sure are from Siberia last night. But it will never happen again. I swear.”

That’s the type of stuff you should be required to give up.

However, there’s alwas a gray area. And because I’m such a nice and benevolent guy, and like to used redundant, reciprocal words in sentences, here’s a list of things that aren’t need to know:

1) Some guy asked you out

Unless you said yes and set a time and date, this isn’t really something worth bringing up over dinner with the boyfriend. We’re dating you and we think you’re hot. We expect you to get hit on. There’s a certain level of willful ignorance that we subscribe to in order to not become jealous overlords.

2) You met some guys with your girls and partied with them (no sex)

All of us have gone out and gotten into some situations that we didn’t expect to transpire. It’s the law of going out. Unless you want me to grill you about every last detail about what you did with these new guy friends of yours, just pretend that you and Becky went out for drinks and then came home and went to sleep.

3) You accidentally killed somebody

Two words: Plausible deniability

4) You kissed a girl (and you liked it)

Unless you intend to do it again and keep it up, just chalk that up as a life experience, come home and have sexxy time with me

5) You kidnapped Mike Tyson’s tiger

Honestly, it’s not that I don’t want to know what you did. It’s more so that I don’t want to die with you. I’m not Romeo and you are not Juliet. I have a job. Just return the damned thing and allow us to go on about our lives. Because see, if you tell me you kidnapped Mike Tyson’s tiger, then that makes me as responsible for its safe return as you, and I probably don’t like you that much. Mmkay, pumpkin?

Anyway, those are some things that you should keep to yourself. What are some others??

The post Things You Should Just Keep To Yourself appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1541085674) } [9]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(45) "Answers To Your Questions About Dating At 50+" ["link"]=> string(85) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/31/answers-to-your-questions-about-dating-at-50-2/" ["comments"]=> string(93) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/31/answers-to-your-questions-about-dating-at-50-2/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 31 Oct 2018 15:07:00 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(79) "Dating AdviceDating Issues+50advicedatingexpertmatureover 50relationshipssenior" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1083" ["description"]=> string(607) "

Three-date rule? For mature (60+) singles, is there such a thing as the three-date rule? In other words, if there is no intimacy by the third date, there’s never going to be any so, move on? — Sheldon M., 60, Los Angeles Sheldon, I’ve written more than 800 newspaper columns on dating at 50+ and I […]

The post Answers To Your Questions About Dating At 50+ appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7437) "

Three-date rule?

For mature (60+) singles, is there such a thing as the three-date rule? In other words, if there is no intimacy by the third date, there’s never going to be any so, move on? — Sheldon M., 60, Los Angeles

Sheldon, I’ve written more than 800 newspaper columns on dating at 50+ and I can assure you, there is no three-date rule. Most women want to know a man before becoming intimate with him. That often takes many more dates than three. If you find a woman you like and she wants to wait, you’d be a wise man to honor her wishes. Plus, you’d know that she’s particular with whom she is intimate. Be a gentleman. Good partners are worth the wait.

Ultimatum or wait for him?

I have been seeing/dating a man for almost one and a half years. We have a monogamous relationship however he’s continuing to keep his profile online. He has not shown any signs of our relationship being anymore than what it is currently, although when asked he says he is not interested in ending what we have now. I would like to take the next step with more of a commitment, but am afraid of jeopardizing what we currently have. I don’t know if I should approach him with this on a more serious level. — Carol W., 53, Cave Creek, Ariz.

Carol, sounds like he’s content with the status quo and likely enjoys the sex, but he has no intention of taking the relationship to the next level. Plus, if he’s still online, he’s also looking. So you need to decide what’s more important to you: Continuing the way it is, even though there’s no guarantee he won’t meet someone else; or, giving him an ultimatum that you want more out of the relationship. That’s totally up to you. However, if you choose the latter, realize that he might end the relationship and then you’d be alone.

Settle for insecurity?

I’ve been seeing a guy for a month now. We emailed each other for a month before that. We are both 50 and single. When we are together it’s great. However we never set up a definite next date. For him it’s always wait and see. That leaves me feeling insecure about the relationship. He says I am the only one he is seeing romantically. I come from a very bad marriage that left me very insecure. I feel very comfortable and wanted when I am with him but it goes away when I have no contact with him. Should I just try to get used to this? — Valerie R., 50, Dowagiac, Mich.

Valerie, are you asking, should you “settle” for insecurity? That’s up to you. You can continue to see him based on when he feels like it, but if I were you, I’d develop other friends and relationships to cover your bet. Keep an eye out for someone who would appreciate you and would make you feel secure. People deserve to be with people who care about them. He’s kind of dangling you on a string, and you’re allowing it.

A little married?

I have gotten a few Icebreakers from men who have classified themselves as being “separated.” According to the law, they are considered still legally married. If I do accept a casual date from a man who is separated, isn’t that considered going out with a married man? — Judith H., 57, Hicksville, N.Y.

Judith, well, yes, you’re going out with a married man. But, don’t judge all people who are married but separated as being wrong to date. Some are just awaiting their divorces, others haven’t divorced because of children or financial considerations. You might meet someone wonderful who is separated. But it’s risky. How do you know who’s being honest with you vs. the married guy who wants an extra-marital affair? That’s where the problem lies. Just be careful, but don’t automatically eliminate a separated guy.

Age denial?

I find that men my age are not really looking for women their age, no matter what they insist to the contrary. Of course, I could be 85 as long as I look 35, but that’s beside the point. Why are so many men in denial about their age? No matter what their physical condition, they want women who are beautiful. — Marte T., 55, Cupertino, Calif.

Marte, what they want and what they can realistically have are different issues. If all a man wants is a younger, beautiful woman, avoid him. Why are men in such denial? Because they don’t know any better and have over-inflated opinions of themselves. Many, in due time, come to their senses and pursue women closer to their age. And they end up happier.

Dressing distress

Are dress standards for men meeting a woman for first time are now ultra casual? Most of the men I have met put little effort in their appearance for a first meeting. Some need haircuts and beards trimmed along with showing up in blue jeans and gym shoes or shorts and well-worn shirts. I do put a lot of time and effort to look especially nice for them. I don’t understand why men do not feel they need to present a good image as well. — Judy S., 56, Newport, Ore.

Judy, I don’t understand it either. Well scrubbed, clean clothes, trimmed hair and clean fingernails are what make a good first impression. If a man has the appearance of a slob on the first date, guess what, it isn’t going to get any better. Don’t completely write them off, perhaps with some simple coaxing and suggesting a guy might get the point. However, I agree, first impressions are important and if a guy doesn’t care about them, chances are he’s not for you.

 

The post Answers To Your Questions About Dating At 50+ appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Three-date rule? For mature (60+) singles, is there such a thing as the three-date rule? In other words, if there is no intimacy by the third date, there’s never going to be any so, move on? — Sheldon M., 60, Los Angeles Sheldon, I’ve written more than 800 newspaper columns on dating at 50+ and I […]

The post Answers To Your Questions About Dating At 50+ appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7437) "

Three-date rule?

For mature (60+) singles, is there such a thing as the three-date rule? In other words, if there is no intimacy by the third date, there’s never going to be any so, move on? — Sheldon M., 60, Los Angeles

Sheldon, I’ve written more than 800 newspaper columns on dating at 50+ and I can assure you, there is no three-date rule. Most women want to know a man before becoming intimate with him. That often takes many more dates than three. If you find a woman you like and she wants to wait, you’d be a wise man to honor her wishes. Plus, you’d know that she’s particular with whom she is intimate. Be a gentleman. Good partners are worth the wait.

Ultimatum or wait for him?

I have been seeing/dating a man for almost one and a half years. We have a monogamous relationship however he’s continuing to keep his profile online. He has not shown any signs of our relationship being anymore than what it is currently, although when asked he says he is not interested in ending what we have now. I would like to take the next step with more of a commitment, but am afraid of jeopardizing what we currently have. I don’t know if I should approach him with this on a more serious level. — Carol W., 53, Cave Creek, Ariz.

Carol, sounds like he’s content with the status quo and likely enjoys the sex, but he has no intention of taking the relationship to the next level. Plus, if he’s still online, he’s also looking. So you need to decide what’s more important to you: Continuing the way it is, even though there’s no guarantee he won’t meet someone else; or, giving him an ultimatum that you want more out of the relationship. That’s totally up to you. However, if you choose the latter, realize that he might end the relationship and then you’d be alone.

Settle for insecurity?

I’ve been seeing a guy for a month now. We emailed each other for a month before that. We are both 50 and single. When we are together it’s great. However we never set up a definite next date. For him it’s always wait and see. That leaves me feeling insecure about the relationship. He says I am the only one he is seeing romantically. I come from a very bad marriage that left me very insecure. I feel very comfortable and wanted when I am with him but it goes away when I have no contact with him. Should I just try to get used to this? — Valerie R., 50, Dowagiac, Mich.

Valerie, are you asking, should you “settle” for insecurity? That’s up to you. You can continue to see him based on when he feels like it, but if I were you, I’d develop other friends and relationships to cover your bet. Keep an eye out for someone who would appreciate you and would make you feel secure. People deserve to be with people who care about them. He’s kind of dangling you on a string, and you’re allowing it.

A little married?

I have gotten a few Icebreakers from men who have classified themselves as being “separated.” According to the law, they are considered still legally married. If I do accept a casual date from a man who is separated, isn’t that considered going out with a married man? — Judith H., 57, Hicksville, N.Y.

Judith, well, yes, you’re going out with a married man. But, don’t judge all people who are married but separated as being wrong to date. Some are just awaiting their divorces, others haven’t divorced because of children or financial considerations. You might meet someone wonderful who is separated. But it’s risky. How do you know who’s being honest with you vs. the married guy who wants an extra-marital affair? That’s where the problem lies. Just be careful, but don’t automatically eliminate a separated guy.

Age denial?

I find that men my age are not really looking for women their age, no matter what they insist to the contrary. Of course, I could be 85 as long as I look 35, but that’s beside the point. Why are so many men in denial about their age? No matter what their physical condition, they want women who are beautiful. — Marte T., 55, Cupertino, Calif.

Marte, what they want and what they can realistically have are different issues. If all a man wants is a younger, beautiful woman, avoid him. Why are men in such denial? Because they don’t know any better and have over-inflated opinions of themselves. Many, in due time, come to their senses and pursue women closer to their age. And they end up happier.

Dressing distress

Are dress standards for men meeting a woman for first time are now ultra casual? Most of the men I have met put little effort in their appearance for a first meeting. Some need haircuts and beards trimmed along with showing up in blue jeans and gym shoes or shorts and well-worn shirts. I do put a lot of time and effort to look especially nice for them. I don’t understand why men do not feel they need to present a good image as well. — Judy S., 56, Newport, Ore.

Judy, I don’t understand it either. Well scrubbed, clean clothes, trimmed hair and clean fingernails are what make a good first impression. If a man has the appearance of a slob on the first date, guess what, it isn’t going to get any better. Don’t completely write them off, perhaps with some simple coaxing and suggesting a guy might get the point. However, I agree, first impressions are important and if a guy doesn’t care about them, chances are he’s not for you.

 

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